Proof That Google is God

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Proof That Google is God

March 24th, 2007

PROOF #1

Google is the closest to an Omniscient all-knowing entity in existence. She indexes over 9.5 billion Web Pages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest to all-knowing, but She also sorts through this vast amount of data using Her patented PageRank method, making said data accessible for us mere mortals.

PROOF #2

Google is everywhere at once Omnipresent. Googles search engine is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, you will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

PROOF #3

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

PROOF #4

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

PROOF #6

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Googles cache, even after you die.

PROOF #7

Google can “do no evil” Omnibenevolent. Part of Googles corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

PROOF #8

Evidence of Googles existence is abundant. There is more evidence for the existence of Google than any other God worshiped today. Extraordinary evidence requires extraordinary proof. If seeing is believing, then surf over to www.google.com and experience for yourself Googles awesome power.